A Human Reation
When John left, Aeryn looked crushed. The look they exchanged was so beautiful that there were no need for words. But how did she really take Crichton’s departure? And who made the final decision to go investigate Earth’s disappearance through the wormhole?...
The nod of the head signified the end. As John Crichton stepped onboard his ship, it was evident that she wouldn’t see him again. He was going home.
A short while later she was sitting in her bed chamber when Zhaan entered. Aeryn quickly rose from her seated position and busied herself sorting out her pistols. She immediately regretted choosing this particular activity, as the anger inside her made it a less graceful endeavour than it should have been.
The peacekeeper clanked the various pistols around and replied nonchalantly, without looking up. “Can I help you?”
She could hear Zhaan move closer towards her, but acted as if she hadn’t. Now was really not the time for a heart-to-heart with Delvian.
“Officer Sun?” Zhaan repeated, talking louder than originally.
It riled Aeryn.
“What, Zhaan?” she snapped, turning to face her shipmate.
Zhaan’s demeanour was positively tranquil. Aeryn never would have suspected she was mourning the loss of a friend, if she even was.
Why was John’s departure affecting her so badly? He was a menial lifeform, after all. Moya would no doubt be in a better position without his input, his incompetence, even if it did mean they were one man down.
This was the only viable concern she should have had. If they did end up in battle with the peacekeepers once again, they would be frelled, essentially. Chiana would be of little use. They were one fighter down and regardless of that fighter’s abilities, they could use the backup.
Crichton shouldn’t be leaving, she decided then. It was selfish of him; yet another poor trait of his species.
She was glad he had gone.
Zhaan came close to her then and brushed her arm gently. “Crichton will be missed,” she said, “by all of us”.
Aeryn let out a laugh that sounded infinitely more false than she meant it to. She said nothing more, and Zhaan took the hint to leave.
As the doors closed over, Aeryn tossed her pistol onto the table and sat down.
Crichton would be missed.
Die Me, Dichotomy
That scene when Aeryn tried to stop John reconfiguring the comms in the neutral cluster – wow – some real emotional turmoil in that scene. But of course! The twist in the tale! What was Aeryn thinking during that scene? It all happened so fast, I imagine she did not have time to think about what she was saying...but what did she think when she regained consciousness?
As she opened her eyes, all she saw was white.
I would be lost without you
Aeryn sat upright on the bed just as the pounding in her reached an unbearable peak. As her vision came back into focus, she saw Zhaan move towards her.
“Lay still, my dear,” the Delvian said calmly. “You’ve suffered severe cranial trauma, you need to rest...”
Aeryn would have fought, but the pain was intolerable. Instead, she lay back onto the bed and closed her eyes.
Then you will never be lost...
She could feel a tear forming in the corner of her eye. Her heart had turned to dust at that moment. John was gone and she was alone again. It was an all too fleeting glance of what might have been.
No matter what happens, you have worked your way into my heart
She couldn’t breathe. When he spoke, she couldn’t breathe. He was everything to her. And he didn’t even know it.
You’ve shown me that I have one
Aeryn rolled over on the bed. Behind her, she felt Zhaan pull a stray strand of hair off her face. The pain in her head was excruciating but somehow she couldn’t feel it. All she could feel was the pain in her chest and the burning at the back of her throat.
That was worse.
I love you
Zhaan lay a hand on Aeryn’s back. “It will take some time for the medication to take effect. You need to rest in the meantime.”
She could feel herself fighting back the tears and she knew she needed to be stronger. She just didn’t know how.
Behind her, Zhaan hesitated momentarily before gathering herself together. “If you need me, I’ll be close by.”
Just like that, Aeryn was alone once more. Alone with her thoughts.
Each tear that fell then hurt more than the last, and with every heartbeat she remembered that it wasn’t John. It hadn’t been he who had said these words, the words she so longed to hear.
I love you too
That had taken everything she had. In the here and now she felt ashamed; ashamed and weak. She had never been one to give into pain but there was no way to overcome this suffering. Every breath ached with humiliation and sadness.
I love you
Aeryn pulled her knees to her chest and cried then like never before. The weight in her heart was a world away from the flutter that has previously resided there, a mere short while ago.
"I would be lost without you."
"Then you'll never be lost."
"No matter what happens, you have worked your way into my heart."
"You've shown me that I have one."
"I love you..."
"...I love you too."
Ok let me know what anyone thinks! Is it worth continuing these?? I think it adds a little "je ne sais quoi" to the episode.
Oh how I lurve Farscape.